Wednesday, August 24, 2022

SATIRES, PUNS, AND EUPHEMISMS IN THE NEVER ENDING CHASE OF LIFE

j.e.masagca

 



THE SAME FOR ANY GOVERNMENT,

FOR ANY ADMINISTRATION,

NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE

OPPOSITION, THE CRITICAL OR

*BIASED MEDIA, AND THE SO-CALLED

PERENNIAL STREET

PARLIAMENTARIANS.

 

NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH,

EVEN WHEN THEY THEMSELVES

COME TO POWER.

 

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Corruption in office is elective as in the academe. But there are some who made it their doctoral.

 

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STUPIDITY IN THE WORKPLACE IS SUPPOSED TO BE OPTIONAL. BUT MANY ARROGANTLY FEAST ON IT.

 

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With the more liberal civil service rules on relations, condemning relations between de facto separated couples as immoral is social hypocrisy. Such relations would only fall within the purview of "immorality" solely on the attendant illegal circumstances or because of greatly disproportionate status that could be perceived as beyond a woman's frailty

 

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It's not about electioneering but as a people, we have to be concerned. The Presidency is not just about waking up and asking somebody to address a situation. Neither is it similar to making a movie classification. Running a country is unlike a commercial bank that is still "finding ways." One must have the answers even before it is asked as governance is participatory, anticipatory, and decisive if it aims to be effective. We might just wake up to having the first American woman President, preceding Madame Hillary Clinton

 

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Masteral Theses, even Dissertations,

can be mental holocausts in disguise for editors

that the fee is not worth it.

 

The conclusion may say "this"

but wanting in the "whys"

 

A panel member is correct that the Thesis

"Was so WELL written"

Indeed, the paper is ought

to be thrashed into a WELL

 

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By analogy to the network's closure, 

if a prostitution den is closed by authorities

that prostitutes have lost their jobs, should

we condemn it because many would go hungry.

 

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Even with Gregor Mendel's Theory of Heredity in mind still, I was not convinced that a mother with deep-set eyes and some Cheshire cat's fur for eyelashes would give birth to a lady with eyelashes as thick and heavy as a size 5 paintbrush. True enough, later those eyelashes were gone. Probably were flicked away when the graduation hood was put on or when the Dean flipped the cap's tassel.

 

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Don't be impressed by titles or academic honors. Judge them with their valedictory speech and work ethics in a real-time environment.

 

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Sometimes it's hard not to wish that they're all silent, laid out with hands neatly folded in their breast, and eyes closed

 

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Nobody is supposed to be ugly as it is only an evil heart that reflects an unpleasant face.   But why do many, particularly those who take "selfies", purposely distort their faces? Are they not contented with their dreadful countenance?

 

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IF A PERSON UNDERGOES PLASTIC SURGERY, DOES IT MEAN HE'S A PLASTIC AFTER?

 

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WEAK AND INSECURE PERSONS TEND TO BE ARROGANT, CORRUPT, AND TITLE CONSCIOUS

 

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WHAT'S ON MY MIND I SPEAK, BLUNTLY IF I SHOULD.

 

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A SMALL MOUSE IS NOT ALWAYS A MICE. NEITHER IS A SMALL ASS AN ASSET.

 

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if you don't want to be criticized.

do what is right.

 

better yet, drop dead for it is illegal and

punishable to blacken 

the memory of one who is dead.

 

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Boats have two outriggers

for balance and stability.

 

The same with a democratic society

that one has always

to be on the other side of the fence

for each other's sanity

and better perspectives.

 

Therefore, we have

The analytical vs. The moronic

The intellectual vs. The dumb

The principled vs. The leeches

And of course, the whole truth

versus the "alternative truth"

which is nothing but lies and fables.

 

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NEWS WRITING AND

CREATIVE WRITING

SEEMS TO HAVE BECOME

LESS DEFINED.

 

FALSITIES, DISTORTION OF FACTS,

CONCEALMENT, AND RHETORICS

WANTING IN LOGIC HAVE

ERASED THE DIFFERENCE,

 

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With so much destabilization,

It's hard to remain apolitical.


With so many lies that mislead

It's hard not to speak the truth.


With so much stupidity,

It's hard not to ridicule.


With so much impertinence,

It's hard to be humble.


And with so much affront,

It's hard not to fight back.

 

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May mga taong puro re-post pero hindi naman makuha ang message. Hindi nga nya alam kung ano ang Tsunami. Never heard daw.

 

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So what if one has graduated Cum Laude? It's just a letter less of being a SCUM

 

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"Kung ano ano lang pag may time" is an indication of a disorganized person, one without direction. One should give time for everything according to priority. 

 

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Funny how some "modernists"

insist on the term "celebrators"

instead of celebrants,

but says "it's his/ her 18th birthday"

A person has only one birthday

and all the rest are birth anniversaries.

 

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Like the Titanic in

girth and

arrogance

an iceberg she has hit.

 

Before the voyage is oér, 

KARMA at its best.

 

The fat lady sings.

 

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WORSE THAN THE MAUTE GROUP ARE THE "MAURIHON GROUP"... (Mga makasarili at inggitero)

 

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It's not fair to blame the Presidency, the National Government Agencies, 

and the Local Government Units for the rise in COVID-19 cases.

 

Government may have its limitations, but the populace also had its indiscretions and lapses in adhering to at least the basic health protocols.

 

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A PRESUMABLY VALID LAW

ONLY BECOMES A LAW IN ESSENCE

WHEN IMPLEMENTED

WITH IMPARTIALITY

AND SANCTIONS IMPOSED.

 

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BLOCK SECTION

A group of Very Impertinent Persons (VIPs)

BLOCKED on Facebook and Messenger.

 

 

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MANY ARE TOO IN A HURRY

TO CLIMB UP THE CORPORATE OR

BUREAUCRATIC LADDER

THAT IN THEIR HASTE

THEY LEFT THEIR BRAINS BELOW.

 

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He who clings to a single communication network

as if his life and existence depend on it, 

subconsciously lives in the age of antiquity.

 

And anyone who oppose counter-terrorism measures

likewise still lives in a barbaric era.

 

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It seems that some take for granted the implications of COVID 19

and do not cooperate with the authorities.

 

BUT TRY TELLING THEM THAT MARK ZUCKERBERG WAS TESTED

TO BE POSITIVE FOR THE VIRUS AND THE ENTIRE FACEBOOK SERVER FARM

WAS ALSO INFECTED THAT FB HAS TO BE SHUT DOWN.

 

THEN EVERYBODY PANICS

 

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Who says that we should not be critical of our government. 

Yes, we all should but in the context of democratic exercise for

cooperation, in logic, and for alternative solutions to issues.

It should never be for the purpose of destabilizing, 

to discredit and push for a particular person to be in power.

 

Be sure too that such criticisms would not serve as a showcase

of the critic's stupidity.

 

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MANY CRITICS ARE LIKE THOSE ON ONLINE SHOP PAGES

WHERE PRICES AND OTHER DETAILS ARE ALREADY INDICATED.

BUT INSTEAD OF CLICKING THE APPROPRIATE BUTTON

MANY WOULD STILL ASK:

 

HOW MUCH?

WHERE CAN I ORDER?

 

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Many millennials feel entitled for having graduated Cum Laude

(sadly from a so so school).

 

Remember that only a single letter,

THE LETTER"S", separates a CUM LAUDE from a SCUM.

 

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I've tested the waters at the reefs and beyond.

I've seen Clownfishes, Whales, Sharks,

Cavefish, Remoras, Dolphins, and some Blue Marlins.

 

Mv words for the month are

 

STUPEFIED

POLARIZED

 

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HOW CAN DERECHOS HUMANOS BE HUMAN RIGHT

WHEN DERECHO MEANS STRAIGHT AND NOT TO THE RIGHT.

 

NO WONDER MANY PEOPLE HAVE THE WRONG CONCEPT OF

HUMAN RIGHTS.

 

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LET US NOT DESPISE THE DIM-WITTED

FOR STUPIDITY ENHANCES WISDOM

AS DARKNESS IS TO LIGHT.

 

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DISYEMBRE- HULING BUWAN NG TAON AT BUWAN NG KAPASKUHAN.

SA MGA HINDI NANINIWALA SA KRISMAS O PASKO 

AY HUWAG DIN KAYONG MANIWALA SA CHRISTMAS GIFTS 

O CHRISTMAS BONUS PARA WAGAS.

 

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They that have done nothing good in the past

have no moral right to criticize the present.

 

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TO DREAM IS FREE.

BUT SOME CHOOSE TO HALLUCINATE

 

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Quality DUMBELLS are expensive.

But not if without the BELLS.

 

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EDSA PEOPLE POWER

 

Never have been so many

was mislead by so few

that a celebration is

not appropriate.

 

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If one is against "extra-judicial killings"

and the reimposition of the Death Penalty  on moral grounds,

then he/ she should likewise be against the promotion or distribution

of abortifacients and contraceptives.

 

Killing in all stages of life, or preventing it is still MURDER.

Rejecting one and tolerating the other is POLITICAL.

 

REJECTING ALL is MORAL UPRIGHTNESS.

 

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The constitutional guarantee on the equal opportunity to run for a public office seems

to have been frustrated by the screening criteria that a candidate must have the

means to launch a nationwide election campaign, rather than on a candidate's

capacity to govern or effectively discharge the functions of the Office sought.

 

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FAKE NEWS isn't NEWS

but an indication of a state

of mind that's either

Neurotic,

Emotional,

Wackoo,

Stupid... 

or all of it.

 

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So it was just a FAMILY FEUD nicely packaged and neatly

marketed that a HOLIDAY was declared.

 

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Though I believe that there are ghosts

and demons I don't celebrate Halloween

because:

 

1. I am not a pagan.


2. I am not Celtic nor with colonial mentality.


3. Halloween cannot be reconciled with any

Faith, as evil, cannot triumph never good

unless man himself wills it so;

 

4. My deceased relatives and friends did not

become ghouls, witches, monsters or

demons, but they rest with the Lord or in the

the hope of rising again; AND

 

5. I believe in the communion of saints and

the resurrection of the body.

 

So no "Happy Halloweens" for me please,

how can one be happy living with all

those demons around?

 

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Many seem to equate graces with negotiable

instruments or currency that can be

re-distributed, or that more is better.

 

During the blessing of candles many can't just

be contented with one candle but brings up to

20 candles probably for distribution, and with

the thought that if no Holy water reaches them

candles it's of no value.

 

Funny how those who brought so many were

left with so little after the rites. Don't they

realize that burning many candles together at

the same time consumes faster?

 

Men of little faith.

 

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Truly I'm grateful for the realization that

I have lived double the age of the people

I admire most : 

Jesus Christ

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Cleopatra

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Franz Schubert

Raffaello Sanzio de Urbino

 

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Pity those who hunger for recognition or awards that they hire writers for the write-ups then seek endorsements of prominent people, and in conscience sleep with an empty accomplishment.

 

Those in government should no longer seek recognitions for they have already been paid out of taxpayer's money and are bound by sworn duty to serve everyone without any reservations.

 

Having been appointed to a public Office is itself already an honor, though sadly many were beyond the spirit of meritocracy.

 

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OF COURSE, IF IT'S ITCHY IT SHOULD BE SCRATCHED.

IF IT'S BITCHY IT SHOULD BE BASHED,

 

SAME WITH PUBLIC POSTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

 

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Job promotions by operations of rules or by estoppel 

does not per se indicate a high IQ level, or competency.

 

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LESSONS OF COVID 19

 

Reaping what we sow.

We alienate ourselves from others.

Now we are to maintain social distancing.

We are pretentious.

Now not only a mask is required

but also a face shield.

We go for worldly pleasures.

Now we are to remain at home.

 

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It's not moral to seek the downfall 

of the very authority that appointed you in Office

by unduly siding with its enemies.

 

Be critical, yes, but support by all means your Chief Executive, unless loyalty or decency is beyond your morals, that you have no right to remain even for a second more.

 

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IN A RECENT INCIDENT OF A FOOD DELIVERY SERVICE RIDER

APPREHENDED FOR CURFEW VIOLATIONS AS LUGAW (PORRIDGE) IS A "NON-ESSENTIAL ITEM"

 

Anything for sustenance is ESSENTIAL

Therefore, LUGAW or porridge is essential.

BUT NOT IN GOVERNMENT.

 

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The Pandemic safety protocols gave

way to online business opportunities

that some sectors are contemplating to

impose taxes.

 

Most however deal with food items, not

realizing that DRINKING STRAWS are

best sellers in offices.

 

Many are SIPSIP (Severelv Inept

Persons Seeking Instant Promotions)

that drinking straws may be needed.

 

But some are opting for MALABANAN

for that edge.

 

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YAWA BRIDGE 

(K0533+172)

 

The mark of a true gentleman is to maintain decorum, diplomacy, tact,

and decency even in extreme adversary.

 

If one has to confront such a deplorable person, the polite

way of expressing one's sentiments is just to say:

 

YES, YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT PERSON THAT A

BRIDGE IN LEGAZPI CITY WAS NAMED AFTER YOU.

 

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